My heart bleeds
A year ago I saw my world coming to an end, the discovery of a life changing event. A year ago my world was shattered as reality seemed to be unreal. I wanted to be woken up from the long slumber I’ve been through. I wanted somebody to come up to me and say, just kidding, this is not what it is. Everything seemed to be a distant reality, everything was gloomy, and emotionless event.
The alteration of my reality removed me from my present self. I couldn’t walk, talk, eat or even think of my own self. The world was a new place, everything was new, and everyone was new. I had to reintroduce myself into this new world. I had to learn how to talk once again, but before I could do that I had to find my hearing. I had to be accustomed to the new sounds I was introduced to. I had to learn the language, introduce myself to the new native world I’ve I saw myself in. I had to decode all new linguistics and understand my new native society. I had to adjust my taste buds to be accustomed to the new flavours; I had to find a new way of crying because the old self was gone. I had to learn their ways; I became part of a society of the
My world was shattered, when I discovered a life changing event. I saw everything vanish before my eyes. The future which was already aligned vanished into thin air. The songs of happiness turned into the sounds weeping. A hammer in contact with the nail- that drilled through my heart.
I had to escape to find a way into the new world. I had to find my new self. I had to move into the new territories with a smile on my face and say that I am a conqueror. I am victorious; I can’t allow the altered reality to be the truth. I had to introduce the new self as the original me.
The New Year started a journey of the new self who is true and original. New ways were learnt, and the old ways came back, the two merged and became the original. A new lifestyle was lived, but this was what has always been there, the merger of the two selves. The songs I sang were full of joy which resurrected the old self. The food I ate was so new that the old tastes came to surface. I was the old self in the new self.
I went into every space which had boundaries, I became friends with those I never imagined myself being part of, I was my old self in the new self. Seconds became minutes, minutes into hours, hours into days, day into months and before I knew it was a year. New terrains I had to carve, new challenges thrown at me, a brick wall blocking my perfect view, the future which I seem to love.
That smile became uncomfortable, as I used every muscle on my face to smile but it came out as a grin. My world has been altered once again. I have found who I am, I know where I’m going, my God has paved my way, as I walk side by side with Him. My new self almost disconnected from me, I remembered a year ago when my world came to an end.
What I’m faced with today is a minor set back to my new world, my original self, the one I have found.
I realised that what I’m faced with today is not entirely a train smash compared to the end of the world a year ago.
A minor set back, which forces me to carve new terrains, create new coordinates into my GPS which will lead me back into my path.
A year ago my world was shattered, today it almost went there, but I know this doesn’t come close to the end of the world I experienced a year ago
Jeremiah 29:11; “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
By; T. Sibiya