A Compassionate Heart.
One evening walking down the street, no worries, just my normal self; happy, joyful, on cloud nine. I have heard the best news of my life. I’m on my way to celebrate my successes with my friends; possibly the best career venture, a successful business, and man of your dreams, everything that I have longed for. The celebration goes well, back home, and safe in my bedroom it is a peaceful evening. In the morning, I embark on my new journey, living the life I have always envisioned.
In the office, thinking about this new venture, a feeling of nausea and overwhelming tears starts flowing. Maybe I’m pregnant? Don’t be silly, I’ve never been with a man before. Why do I feel so tense? I ignore the feeling and tell myself all is well, it will pass. But, On my way home, it returns, I wonder what I ate, but common sense tell me no food on the planet can make me feel so ill and tearful.
These feelings of despair return, sometimes several days in a row. In desperation during moments of pain and torment, I visit the doctor. He gives me anti-depressants yet I’m not depressed, just the sudden sadness I feel weighs me down.
What could be wrong? I go to church on Sundays, pray daily in the morning and evening. Before eating, prayer is part of my life. Being kind and helpful has always been the norm for me. I tithe accordingly, live a Christian life. What is this pain and sadness that occurs every now and again without reason.
One day while at a fast food restaurant with friends this feeling returns; they pray for me; I’m scared of what people might be thinking, and ask to go home. On our way home, my friend prays again because she can see not all is well yet you are happy. We feel God’s presence, pour our hearts out, our tears are answered.
– That night celebrating with friends, a blind woman came up to us asking for cash, she was in rags, I told her to stop fooling around and pretending to be blind and gave her 20 bucks.
– Every day on the way to work, in the bus there is a young boy with ruined school shoes.
– Two houses from home, a young girl date men old enough to be her father; her parents don’t know about it. She often visits but has never shared this with you.
– At church there is an old man who never misses a service, he doesn’t seem to have much
– At work, the young girl who always looks nice and stylish is crying inside, longing for someone to listen to her. She is with you but has never said a thing.
– Your mother’s colleague has a troublesome daughter, she loves you dearly, but the young girl has never shared anything with you.
These people seem to know you, you are always around them but have no idea what their troubles may be.
While praying, God speaks to us through friends who tell us to open our hearts and allow him to dwell in you.
When I think about it, each time I felt pain and sadness, I was in the presence of the same people or someone who is in the same situation. Because I was self-centred at the time, I didn’t realise or notice this. I locked myself in the house and didn’t go outside to interact with others. Even though the house is always packed with different faces, I didn’t allow anyone in or allow myself to get to know them.
God speaks to us at the least expected times, we must be vigilant and listen, channel our ears to his voice for He says that His sheep knows His voice. We should always take that one-step forward reach out to our neighbours with a helping hand.
Never ignore such feelings, God is always with us every step of the way, and He shows us his sheep that we should lead back to his house.
Matthew 4:8-20, “18Now as Jesus was walking by the Sea of Galilee, He saw two brothers, Simon who was called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. 19And He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” 20Immediately they left their nets and followed Him.”
By: T. Sibiya