I said I’m sorry but you still don’t believe me
I know I have hurt you
I know I have done you wrong
I know I have tormented your world
I know I have made you hate mankind
I know I lied to you, I told you not to worry.
I know you have asked me countless times who this person was
I lied and said he’s my cousin
I lied and said he’s my buddy, my closest male friend
I lied and said he’s a guy who offered me a lift non-else
I lied and said he just came with a business proposal, we’re just friends.
I know no words I say now will heal the scar I have left in you
No words will make you believe me,
No words shall make you trust me again
No words that are uttered through my lips will ever be the same again.
I know I fed you the sweetest nectar told you the sweetest stories,
Oh I remember whispering sweet nothings
I remember painting the picture of perfection, how you and I were meant to be
How our worlds were so good together, that we created a new universe.
I remember introducing you to your future in-laws;
Little did you know they were part of my scheme.
I remember how I said she is my sister, she knows everything about me.
She told you how much you mean to me. She supported my lie and said you are my Adam.
You met my aunt and uncle, well you knew they were the import pieces to the family, you have to befriend the uncle so tomorrow shall run smooth.
You met the “family”; I remember how happy you were. How you said this is it, God sent.
I know I concurred, yes indeed God sent.
I’m sorry; I didn’t know my lies would do this to you
I’m sorry; I didn’t know you’d shut the world
Please allow me to apologise,
I didn’t mean to mess up your world, all I was doing was just cruising.
My games were for my own benefit
My games were for my own detachment purposes
My games were my healing point
I was broken; I didn’t care about the next person.
I was doing all of these things because I was emotionless.
Someone took my heart and crushed it. I was dead inside.
I just wanted to glide, no emotional strings attached.
I didn’t mean to hurt you, I was just emotionally selfish.
My world meant nothing, I was empty inside.
I just wanted to fill this space with meaningless relationships
I just wanted to prove to myself that I was still loved,
Little did I know that I was ruining someone else.
I sought counsel for my emotionless state the wrong way,
I pursued the already broken souls
I became vulnerable to those who were once vulnerable
I became a target to those who were left at the altar
I was broken and thought the only way to heal was through meaningless courtship.
I hope one day you’ll find it in your heart to forgive my childish behaviour.