The moment I found out I was the Makhwapheni
He came up to me, hit me with the best line, all smiles and knees weaken. I’m taken to another world that no man can explain. I’m flattered by this nice gentleman, his eyes, smile, teeth, those looks, he’s just unbelievable. He’s a smooth talker; he wants nothing but simple friendship. Well; why not, I can be friends.
Three years later he confesses his love, I’m what he’s been looking for all these years, he says. “You’re the best friend a guy could ever have, how about we turn this relationship into a romantic one.” Without hesitation, we started dating. The guy was just too ‘perfect’, I’ve seen his flaws, knew his past and judging from our friendship I quite liked him. I fell for him so hard.
Few months into the relationship, I’m constantly introduced to this one image in all his pictures but as he would say, abatwana base sontweni. Naive and in love, I believed him. The relationship escalates; every moment together brings joy to the heart. Each memory is treasured; he supported my wildest dreams, same as I supported his projects.
Time passes there aren’t many flaws in the relationship but his constant visits home. The heart starts to question the every weekend trips home. I once heard that; “if a guy from a different province goes home a lot, chances are he has someone there”. Wena uyakudlala, you’re just a mere Makhwapheni to pass the time with eGoli. Naive as I was I chose not to trust my instincts because I didn’t want to believe that this could happen to me.
I’ve always known but chose not to believe it
One day I met with umtwana wase sontweni, coincidentally they were rocking the same colours at an event, they looked more like a couple and I was more of a ‘just a friend’ who needed a lift to the event. I was still caught up in the; this can’t happen to me, Neah, I must be tripping.
I wasn’t snooping around, but some disturbing pictures landed on my doorstep. This can’t be true; isn’t this the ‘sister’ he once made his pro pic, the one who it was her birthday when he went home. Tjo! Jah neh, clearly he gave me this knowingly that I will see the pics. Damn dude, you must be in the closet or applying for a death certificate, you can’t be friends with just girls and have so many intimate pictures together, no that I refuse to believe.
My guard was back up, and I started evaluating the situation, why me, how can this be? I chose to keep quiet because it will seem like I was snooping around and in this case, the prey took itself to the predator.
I started to back off, cautious of my every move, didn’t wanna be seen in public with him. It felt like everywhere I turned people were laughing at me. I occupied my time with work because this was too much, how do I confront such. At some point, he slips but I turned a blind eye on it because clearly, he was not aware that I knew or simply he didn’t care.
One evening after an awesome day, I went online, as usual, to see what was happening in the world. Shocked- I broke down. No, this can’t be; deny, deny all the way. How! Me! A Makhwapheni! iyo! Ah! Eyes start boiling coz I knew it but was so much in denial that I refused to believe it. This time, I confront the situation and let it go for the heart needs to heal. Cut off all ties with him because I can’t always be facing the one who made me a side chick.
I’ve always known but chose not to believe it, because the buddy side said he has changed.
Wow, yeah never say you know a person. How you find out about certain things had a bad way of breaking you. I can relate to what you're going through at the moment. Hope you stay strong my sister and find a way of dealing with this revelation.
The game of love is the hardest and heartbreaking thing ever.
Thanks anonymous for keep posting. Wish to have a chat with you. Share notes how you (your friend) has moved past this (if she has).
Keep reading and sharing your story.